


Alight

by Tonko



Category: One Piece
Genre: M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 11:34:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10385760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tonko/pseuds/Tonko
Summary: Merry and the estate beekeeper strike up a romance. A gift for printfogey.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [printfogey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/printfogey/gifts).



> This was supposed to be a Christmas present, but, er, Merry March? So to speak.
> 
> This takes place in the extended setting of an as-yet-unposted rather long fic about Onion, Pepper, and Carrot. I guess this story's existence is also a spoiler for this pairing in _that_ story, but it's standalone and not reliant on it in any way. As long as you are familiar with Kaya and Merry (the butler, not the ship), and I suppose Onion, Pepper and Carrot, you're covered.
> 
> As printfogey is my endlessly patient beta, this is unbeta'd. Let me know if you spot something that needs fixing!

"Need a candle?" a quiet, somewhat familiar voice interrupted Merry's chagrined contemplation of the empty box on one of the General Store's lower shelves, and he looked around and back along the narrow aisle.

Mr. Nikolei, the big, silver-haired beekeeper who maintained a beehive for Miss Kaya's garden, as well as some of the orchards on this island and some others, was further down, beyond the rack of monthly anthology and periodical magazines and the crates of dry goods. He stood at the counter in a patched grey jacket and green scarf, long hair tied at his nape and a lopsided brown woolen cap on his head. He was leaning on a wide crate that had his own merchant mark on the side, weathered hands folded loosely over the top. His strong, wind-burned features were set in the unsmiling but benign calm Merry was used to seeing when he encountered the man every so often at the estate. 

"Mr Nikolei! Ah--well, yes. I've run out for Miss Kaya's birthday supper," Merry admitted, moving back along the aisle with his other imminent purchases--a box of cinnamon sticks and a sack of icing sugar--cradled in one arm.

Kaya's little gathering was this evening, and candles were a decoration for the table; the last ones had been used up on the lopsided monstrosity the 'pirate' trio had brought her yesterday. In its defense, it had been quite edible. Young Carrot's efforts in baking the apple cake had not exactly been visually pleasing, but at least Merry had not had to feign appreciation after Pepper shoved a plate of it at him. 

The candles that the boys had liberated from the kitchen storage to decorate it with had melted merrily down as Kaya had entertained her three young self-appointed guardians.

Merry's annoyances in the moment had been, as ever, tempered by the joy the three youngsters consistently seemed to bring her, as noisy and disruptive as they inevitably were. Not to mention overenthusiastic with adding candles to the cake.

Mr Nikolei hmmed equably, pried the lid of his crate up, and then he was holding a bright, cheerfully blue beeswax candle out towards Merry.

Approaching and accepting the candle, Merry nodded in gratitude. "My thanks."

The candles weren't _all_ strictly gone--there remained plenty of the utilitarian white paraffin candles in the cupboard, but the beeswax ones were much prettier, and smelled rather good as well.

Nikolei nodded in acknowledgement as he removed the lid altogether, regarded the contents thoughtfully, reached in and removed a paper-wrapped packet that had to contain at least ten. At least, originally; the wrapper had torn, perhaps letting fall the one Nikolei had given him first. Merry was handed the packet as well. He tucked the singleton candle into the pocket of the coat he was wearing against the early spring chill, and took the larger packet with another polite bob of his head. He fished for his coin purse. 

"How much--"

"Nah," Nikolei said, dismissive of payment, and Merry found himself unable to insist. 

"Well I--Thank you very much," Merry told him. As he closed the purse, Nikolei's attention stayed on him, watching Merry with his customary even expression. Still watching, hadn't turned back to his own task, the receipts for his deliveries remained incomplete on the counter, as he studied Merry instead. Merry smiled, underscoring his gratitude.

A drift of satisfaction passed over Nikolei's face, and Merry felt his hands go still, arrested by the sight of the faint smile. 

Merry quite liked Nikolei, he had since he'd met him. His calm demeanour seemed quite predisposed to managing bees, certainly, and indeed, for the past few years the flowers had flourished under the attentions of the hive's residents. Mr Nikolei appeared periodically to maintain it, and others on the island, most often in spring and summer, and Merry observed him now and then, heading onto or leaving the premises, or on the road to one of the farms where his bees nurtured orchard trees and berry plantations.

Truthfully, Merry appreciated more than just his calm manner. Nikolei had attentive brown eyes, light brown skin finely lined with middle age, and that easy, solid calm. He had strong shoulders and big arms, but with a little softness about his middle that made him seem more approachable than muscle-bound, just like his genial demeanour eased his rather monosyllabic conversational style. The deft hands and broad build appealed on a purely aesthetic level, and while Merry was aware of the town's disapproval--low-key, but present--of attraction to one's own gender, it offended no one that Merry might pause and watch through the window as Nikolei strode in or out of the garden, or that he'd feel particularly pleased should they happen to cross paths directly. Merry was a bachelor and had no expectation that that should change at this point, but there'd never been harm in discreet idle fantasy. 

Nikolei was from a neighbouring island, and Merry had always assumed his stance on such things--it was safer for all concerned, with no overt indication of preferences either way to prompt him.

Mr Dakos reappeared at the counter, and Nikolei inclined his head towards Merry so that Mr Dakos took care of Merry's purchases first. He didn't protest, and had the sensation of Nikolei's eyes resting on him for the duration of the transaction. 

As Merry finished paying, there was a hollered query about inventory from Mr Dakos' eldest daughter in the back room. With an apologetic look at Nikolei that was placidly waved off, Mr Dakos vanished into the back. Nikolei leaned on his crate and regarded Merry.. 

"Take care, Mr Nikolei," Merry said

"Just Nik," came the reply, the usual response the man always gave to Merry's reflexive formality.

Merry nodded, and lifted the bag with the packet of candles in it for emphasis. "Thank you again."

"'See you next week," Nikolei said, and Merry realized that was true. He would be by for hive maintenance at the estate.

"Oh, quite so," Merry replied. His smile as he spoke was intended to be simply friendly, but some old instinct prompted him to let it linger a touch longer than he had ever allowed it to prior. Nikolei's eyebrows rose the slightest bit, and Merry took that moment to rearrange his purchases for the walk back, looking down to give Nikolei the chance to turn away. A sudden silent jangle of nerves made him wonder just what he could possibly expect here, in this town, after all these years. But when he looked up, Nikolei hadn't gone back to his receipts, and his expression seemed just the faintest bit more intent. The weight of his gaze was different. 

A very tiny foothold of possibility. Nothing Merry would dare voice, but though it had been years since he'd engaged in any kind of unspoken negotiations of _that_ nature, it certainly rang familiar...

Merry took his leave with last polite nod, and an airy feeling in his step.

*

Merry was many years beyond adolescence, and was not generally consumed with pining, looming emotion predicated on the very faintest _potential_ signs of interest (he did have particularly mortifying memories of his mooning over a boy he'd fallen for at fourteen--ah, youth), but the upcoming visit, even in all its vague and perhaps nonexistent promise of… something... did manage to preoccupy him in the moments between his daily tasks.

It felt quite silly, and yet he couldn't quite manage to put it aside, either the vague fantasies of more interactions--how long had it been since he'd had so much as a meal with a potential romantic partner?--or the abrupt and stern reminders to himself that a misstep or misinterpretation could end their friendly interactions at best, and lose a valued service to the estate, at worst. It wasn't for him to cause upheavals in the running of Miss Kaya's property.

Still, perhaps he was not so removed from adolescence as he pretended, he thought exasperatedly to himself on the day before Nikolei was to visit, as he came back to his senses from an altogether inappropriate daydream involving large capable hands in places no one's hands had been in more years than he cared to tally. 

The last time had been… some while before Klahadore's-- _Kuro's_ \--betrayal. Before that, he'd occasionally left to the city to deal with estate accounting or banking affairs in person in the city, and made use of the opportunity for some pleasant momentary companionship. But since Kuro's treachery had been revealed, Merry had been rather less inclined to take trips off the island--the rest of the estate staff and Miss Kaya's trio of self-styled protectors notwithstanding--and dealt with most administrative affairs by correspondence instead. This had kept him indefinitely away from the places in the city where he'd been able to occasionally meet someone to take to bed for an evening.

At any rate, it was well and good to imagine what he liked on his own time, however, that time was decidedly not while he was balanced on a stepladder performing a repair on the upper hinge of a window shutter.

Merry sighed, shook his head, set aside the daydream and carried on with his task.

*

The next day Merry undertook, with admittedly ulterior motives, to set up a ladder outside to install the second floor window boxes. The sun was out and the weather favourable for it, even if this was not usually done for another three weeks. At least he had a different selection of annuals this year that would benefit from an early planting.

He was climbing down the ladder from finishing with the third window box when he heard the footsteps on the gravel path that ran through the garden. 

He carried on down, only looking over when both feet were firmly on the ground, and found Nikolei had halted beside him. He looked upward at the box, and then back at Merry, eyes widening a little, and Merry knew why, with a minor pang of self-consciousness. His usual suit was put away in favour of an older, oft-mended shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a pair of trousers with one knee patched, work boots and a pair of grimy gardening gloves. It was a far cry from his preferred clothing.

But it was best to dress for the task at hand. "Good morning," Merry greeted.

Nikolai glanced up the ladder again. "Flowers?" Nikolei asked. 

"Indeed. New annuals this year. They are quite pretty, or they will be in time. I doubt the bees will visit them, so high up."

"Be surprised," Nikolei said. "They just might." He regarded the greening shrubs and beds. Too early for blooms yet, but it would not be too many more weeks for the first. The garden was planted with enough variation that there were always flowers somewhere from spring through autumn. "Nice picks," he added, slightly cocking an eyebrow at Merry. "Mulberry?"

Their gardener, Mulberry Senior, kept the garden in a lovely state--and was in fact the one who'd given Merry Nikolei's name in the first place--but he was past seventy and too old to be up a ladder anymore for window boxes--indeed he only worked here three days of the week--so had grudgingly allowed Merry to take that task on himself.

"Yes. He thought that the--" Merry paused at the sound of running just beyond the wall and the hedge, three sets of pounding feet. 

"Is he here?" they heard through the hedge and Merry sighed and waited. 

"I think he's outside--he should be, I saw him up the ladder before. I don't--OW!"

"Not through the hedge, idiot, he'll get mad and then we definitely can't use it."

More running along the length of the wall, and then three skinny figures swung around the front gate and paused until they spotted him.

"MR MER~RY!!" Pepper's bellow was both enthusiastic and patronizingly flattering. Merry shook his head with mingled annoyance and amusement, and saw Carrot slap a hand over his eyes but then he was jogging along behind Pepper and Onion.

Nikolei let out a little huff of actual laughter, then nodded towards the hive and Merry watched him head onward, abandoning to face the impending onslaught of enthusiastic youth. 

They charged along the path, two with camping backpacks and Carrot lugging a basket and three fishing poles, until all three of them were staring at him with beseeching eyes. Carrot didn't even have to look upward anymore, the boy was of a height with him now at thirteen.

"Mr Merry, please could we borrow the dinghy?" Onion asked, rocking on his feet slightly and attempting a winning smile. "It's finally warm enough to go around the island." Miss Kaya's personal dinghy was a nimble little craft she would take for small jaunts on finer days, alone or with friends from town, though aside from the trio, it got little enough use these days, since her studies kept her so busy.

"We'll be very careful," Pepper added, and Merry knew that was true--until they inevitably got carried away and tried to use it to "sail" upstream into the forest again. 

Though even then, it had only gotten stuck, not damaged. And they had dutifully accepted their punishment of laundering and hanging bedding that had been too long in storage. Young Ivy, the new maid at the time, had enjoyed the afternoon off.

"Who's that?" Carrot was leaning a little sideways, peering out from under his thick hair towards where Nikolei had gone. Merry glanced over his shoulder and spotted him half-concealed by some shrubs, crouched and preparing his beekeeping tools.

"That is Mr Nikolei. He takes care of the beehives, here and elsewhere," Merry replied in a quelling tone. "As for the dinghy, please recall what happened last year, if you will."

"We'll be careful!" Onion insisted. "We'll bring you fish back!" He added hopefully.

"Yeah, we're gonna catch the early trout run." Carrot hefted the fishing gear.

"That's not necessary," Merry declined with a straight face. It wouldn't do to let them know he found the offer rather charming of them. "Save it for your supper." He looked at their gear, clearly for an overnight outing. He sighed, somewhat more theatrically put-upon than he actually was. "Very well. Can I expect it back tomorrow?"

Effusive, grateful promises to have it moored and cleaned by noon the next day showered over him, and then they pounded back along the path and out the gate. The sound of their plans remained audible for a decent distance, as their volume matched their enthusiasm. 

Merry smiled to himself, then, giving the ladder a check for stability, he turned away from it and headed instead towards where Nikolei stood.

He was standing now, carefully lifting a frame from the hive with one hand, sending a gentle puff from his smoker at it with the other. He looked closely at the sluggishly crawling mass of insects, examining the wax structure. Merry paused at a distance to watch.

Nikolei glanced over. "Nearer's safe," he said. "Slowly. They're calm."

Merry edged closer, getting a better view of the small beings that shared the garden with him all summer. Individually, they never bothered him. He let them be and they him, and he gave the hive a respectfully wide berth. Seeing so many at once was new to him; now they seemed nearly dormant, perhaps unsurprising so early in spring. 

He found himself watching less the bees and more Nikolei's hands on the wooden frames as he checked and cleaned the hive, so deliberate yet quick, the bees causing him no hesitation at all, and his manipulation of their residence causing them, it seemed, very little upset.

Dead bees were swept away onto the grass. At Merry's "oh dear" of chagrin, Nikolei looked over. 

"Normal," he said, reassuring. "Short lives over winter. They did good," he spoke the words seemingly to the hive as much as to Merry. "Healthy hive."

It hardly seemed any time at all before he was done, replacing the cover on the hive with a look of satisfaction. "Doing well," he declared.

"Under your care, that's no wonder," Merry said, and at that, Nikolei seemed to straighten a little, his hand spreading out on the hive cover.

"Thanks." He looked up at Merry, the corner of his mouth tugging up.

Merry found himself smiling back, and they stood like that in the dappled shade of the garden corner, for some long moments, until Merry asked--he didn't blurt it, at all--"Would you care to stay for a meal?"

Merry was quite sure he saw a pleased look flicker over Nik's face and he felt a happy echoing jolt in his chest.

That wasn't a risk-free question, but the reaction vindicated that faint impression he'd first had, and suddenly he felt daring as he never had in one of the clubs or taverns in the city, felt his palms grow damp, the back of his neck warm, even though this was a perfectly innocuous invitation. 

Then Nikolei's mouth corners turned down in a brief expression of regret. "Got more visits, still," he said. "Then the ferry to Grenadine." The next island east in their chain.

Merry's anticipation washed away in a prickling cold rush of disappointment, which was promptly chased by aggravation at himself for being silly enough to feel it so sharply.

"Yes of course. You must be quite busy," he said, manners always there to rely on, even so childishly deflated. He ducked politely and started to turn away, and then a hand landed on his bare forearm. Heavy, warm, callused fingers and broad palm.

"Back next week," said Nikolei. "Now I know. I'll make time."

Merry looked down as Nikolei's hand slid away, the faint imprint of his fingers vanishing from his skin, but the memory of the sensation persisting.

"Will you, now," Merry said softly, allowing the unspoken meaning out into his voice properly. 

And Nikolei smiled again. "Yeah."

*

And... he did.

The following week he arrived in the morning, and finished his work on the hive while Merry was inside, cleaning silverware. Miss Kaya had spent the last few days in heavy research, and their chef, a young local hire who'd been away to cooking school before Merry had offered him the job, was at home with his wife and their new infant for some extra weeks; Merry was fully qualified to provide the sandwiches at random intervals that Miss Kaya lived off of during these periods.

So the kitchen was his for now. He'd prepared the meal in advance as much as possible, and when Nikolei at last approached the kitchen exterior door as Merry had directed him, Merry put aside the chore to begin completing the meal. Fish and chips; simple, but Merry had become quite adept at the local version of the dish in his years here, and the batter was crisp, the sauce homemade, and fried potatoes cooked no more or less than needed.

Nikolei fell to with a steady appetite that consumed two helpings with avid appreciation, eating quietly as Merry chattered--he only realized after the fact--going on and on about the inanities of his day, the weather, the reason the fish he'd cooked wasn't the usual one used for the dish and various and sundry topics, all of it drawn out by nods and noises of acknowledgement.

Once they were done, Merry provided tea and ginger cookies and Nikolei took the delicate cup carefully in his large hand. "Good," he said. "Thanks." He dipped a cookie in his tea, ate it in one bite.

"You're entirely welcome, it was nothing," Merry said, modesty foremost, even though he was still preening a little inside at the thoroughness with which Nikolei had enjoyed the meal. 

"Not nothing. Haven't had real home-cooked in years," Nikolei said. He retrieved another ginger cookie, studied it for a moment before dipping it as he had the first.

"No family on the islands?" Merry asked.

Nikolei shrugged while he chewed and swallowed. "Parents passed twenty years back. Only child." He was matter of fact. "Lotta travel. No time." He took another cookie, turning it over and over in his fingers.

"You made time," Merry pointed out, and took a sip of his tea, his fingers going oddly tight around the cup.

Nikolei quirked his mouth in the way that on anyone else would have been a broad smile, and Merry felt his grip ease. 

"Yep." 

*

And he continued to do so. It wasn't, unfortunately, every week; but never more than three weeks would pass without a visit, and Merry came to understand more of his labour as they spent their few short hours together on those days. Nikolei kept the honey from many of the hives he maintained--his fee was less when he did so--as well as beeswax, and supplied honey and candles to a great many shops along the ferry route. He spent most of his time on the ferries or at cheap restaurant and inns. So Merry grew even more pleased to share a meal for him when his rounds brought him back to Syrup.

The third time he did so, spring was edging nearer to summer, the days were warm even if the nights were not. Merry saw Nikolei to the door after supper, the dusk air cool but starting to bloom with the smell of growing things. Their cleared plates were still on the small kitchen table, a candle lighting it in favour of the bright kitchen lights that Merry had shut off after the cooking was done. Nikolei had touched it with one finger as Merry lit it, in amused recognition.

Now he stood in the doorway, shrugging back into his jacket against the cooler evening, his kit and supplies ready for him to pick up and be on his way for the night ferry to Grenadine. This time he'd returned to the estate after his other obligations on Syrup had been taken care of. Merry bent to pick up his things, to hand them over when Nikolei was ready. When he stood, Nikolei was watching him, and Merry wondered what he could see, when it was nearly dark outside, and Merry was backlit by the table's candlelight.

Nikolei had thus far departed with little delay or fanfare, no lingering, just leaving the contented weight of his appreciative "thanks." 

And he didn't linger this time either, precisely. Nor did he leave right away. While Merry's hands were occupied, Nikolei reached out and slid an arm around his waist, and pulled him into a kiss.

Gentle as his manner, warm and firm as his grip, and Merry heard his sound of surprise become a little noise of pleasure as the contact shivered heat through him and he kissed him back, opening his mouth against Nikolei's in a request for the same, and received what he asked for, with traces of honeyed tea and ginger.

Nikolei pulled back and relieved Merry of the gear he'd been holding, what had kept him from embracing back properly

"Gotta go," he said softly. And, of course, "thanks."

"Goodbye," Merry answered, hearing his voice come out a little plaintive, and watched him leave, striding away down the path, turning the corner to the mansion's gate. He stood there a while, thinking of very little, but feeling quite a lot.

He turned back into the kitchen when the evening chill settled a little too close to his skin, and nearly leaped to the ceiling when he discovered Miss Kaya at the counter, a sheaf of research notes under one arm and an ink smudge on her chin, silently preparing her favourite tea and watching him.

"M-miss--I--" mortification and a sudden apprehension descended over him. He hadn't told her, and he didn't truly know if she--

"Merry," Kaya said chidingly, looking at the candle-lit table setting. "You never _said_." She looked accusing and a little wounded. Then suddenly she was alight with eager curiosity. "Tell me all about him!" 

Kaya took a break from her work, and Merry endured a happy, if abashed, interrogation over another cup of tea.

*

Autumn arrived, and Nikolei was due back on a day that dawned promising the same terrible weather that had been ongoing for the past week. the sky was heavy and grey all morning and through to midafternoon, wet air sinking cold into everything, the smell and pressure of impending rain more and more present with each hour, though the clouds held persistently onto their burden. 

Merry kept looking out the windows as he made his rounds, dusting, and looking for any minor repairs that needed attending to. Miss Kaya was not at home, rather she was two islands south on a three-month first apprenticeship stint with a doctor and midwife couple. In her absence, the staff had rather reduced shifts and just now most were on vacation. As a result the mansion seemed overlarge and empty. The window frames at the front rattled as he passed, the wind outside picking up, and Merry knew the storm had to descend soon. But the figure coming up the path with a faster than usual stride made him frown with worry. Nik had arrived, earlier than expected, certainly due to completing his other appointment with all haste. Because surely this weather wouldn't do for the bees, if the rain caught him. 

He descended to the ground floor and retrieved the largest umbrella in the entry hall closet.

He cast about for his galoshes, and cursed to himself; they were at the other door. He went out regardless, opening the umbrella even as he caught a distant, low rumble from the angry clouds. He could see Nik in the hive corner already, down on one knee and opening his kit.

Merry headed for him, though slowed before he got too close to avoid agitating the hive's residents. Nik looked around at the sound of his footsteps, raised his chin in brief, pleased greeting and turned back to the hive.

"Is this safe? For you, and for them?" Would bees be agitated by the rain? Would it harm them?

"Be alright," Nik answered. "Won't take long."

Merry watched as Nik prepared the smoker, and sent a few puffs into the hive before he began. He went quickly, his work now familiar to Merry, every motion efficient so that he was fast, without rushing. 

As the sky rumbled ominously and the breezes became cold wind, Nik worked. Merry began to hold out some hope that they might escape the downpour, but before Nik was quite done, there was an almighty _CRACK_ that sounded as though it was nearly overhead. Merry flinched at the earsplitting volume, then sprang forward and positioned the umbrella over the hive as the rain descended like a curtain of grey, over the mansion, the hedges, the garden, and over Merry, soaking through his suit in moments, and spattering onto Nik's raincoat, the noise of it filling the quiet afternoon.

Nik ignored the rain that sluiced over him except to ensure it did not drip on his charges, focused on completing his task. He replaced the frame at last, sliding it gently back into place, then restored the lid. He looked up at Merry while swiftly packing his kit. "You're soaked," he said.

That was entirely accurate, the rain had gone through Merry's suit, wet chill penetrating down to his skin, and he could feel water sliding in icy rivulets wherever his shirt and trousers weren't plastered directly to him. It dripped from his hair into his eyes and he gave his head a little shake to clear his vision. 

"Would you care to come inside until the weather clears somewhat?" he asked, somewhat rhetorically. Their supper had been planned since his last visit.

"Hm," Nik made an affirmative sound, and closed his kit. He stood and Merry was able to draw the umbrella close enough to shelter them both, for the little good that did him.

He had to hold the umbrella higher than he was used to to make sure Nik's head wasn't crowded down as they walked to the house. Their feet crunched wetly along the gravel path through the garden until it met the utility entrance that Merry used on this side of the house. 

The folded umbrella went upright in a corner to dry. Merry stood and dripped on the entry mat as he watched Nikolei set his kit carefully to the side. 

As Merry held out his hands for Nik to remove his jacket and let him hang it up, he was forestalled when Nik shrugged out of it and dropped it on the hook himself, uncovering a blue hooded sweatshirt with slightly dampened threadbare cuffs . "Do yours," he said. "Get dry." The extent of Nik's soaking was wet trouser ankles and damp knees, dark patches on the sturdy brown cloth. He stepped out of his work boots as Merry extracted his feet from his shoes. The socks were soaked as well, and he balanced awkwardly as he dragged the wet, chafing wool off.

Merry's fingers were numbed and clumsy from outside, and he felt Nik doing the closest he got to hovering--standing still and watching intently--as Merry begin to fumble at the buttons of his suit jacket.

"Here," Nik said, reaching partway and Merry lowered his hands and let him, grimacing at the cold drips of his hair. Nik freed him from the suit jacket, though that only exacerbated the chill, and he shuddered as the room's air hit the cold, soaked shirt. He had to take these off, remove all of it, and he wasn't about to do that in the hall. 

"I need to--this way," he said. This was a less than ideal way for Nik to see his room for the first time, but he wasn't going to abandon him at the door in a dark, empty mansion.

He shivered and dripped as he led the way. Up the stairs they went, leaving a trail of small puddles that the back of his mind protested vehemently against. Nik stayed close on his heels, until he reached his door and went in. 

"Nice," Nik said. For years, Merry had lived in a small, modest room, even through the tenure of that vile Kuro, until he had woken after the attack to find himself settled in one of the guest suites, and after his initial protest had Kaya glaring at him through her tears, he had accepted the larger space. Nik was looking around, taking in the double bed with its simple quilt and pair of pillows, the wide window currently being lashed with rain and letting in barely sufficient light, the dresser with its few keepsakes arranged on top. Three full bookshelves, a drafting table, a storage chest, a wardrobe, an armchair… it was all clean and neat. No one but Merry himself was ever in here. 

"Thank you," Merry said, though he felt a bubble of odd distress rising in him.

This wasn't--he had surely thought of Nik joining him in his room eventually, but this felt--he was still cold, and this wasn't how--he didn't want--His hands shook with perhaps more than the chill as he worked at the buttons of his dress shirt, then gave in with a feel of far more desperation than this frustration was worth. "Nik. Would you," he asked tightly, and Nik came to help, mouth thinning slightly with concern, as Merry felt his insides twisting harder by the moment.

Nik deftly undid the small buttons on the sodden dress shirt--and then he paused and stared, eyes fixed on the scars marring Merry's torso from Kuro's claws. Merry felt himself tense further and fought to stop himself withdrawing altogether. 

He should have warned him, perhaps. No one had seen them before, only the doctor who'd stitched him up, and Miss Kaya had some idea of the damage, from when she'd found him on the floor. He saw the long ugly scars himself when he dressed, but only as briefly as possible. He did not like observing the marks he'd earned with his oblivious failure. But apparently he'd mistaken his habit of ignoring them for having gotten used to them.

Nik said nothing, which was to be expected. He started to reach out, then paused. Merry did not stop him even though he half-dreaded the contact, his own disgust irrationally anticipated from any other observer as well. But Nik glanced at his face--Merry couldn't meet his eyes--and moved on instead to undo the buttons Merry's shirt cuffs, one hand warmly engulfing Merry's to hold his wrist as he worked them free of the stiff fabric.

The wet shirt peeled away, leaving Merry hunched and damp and feeling far more than half-naked in the dim room. He felt unable to speak, and, in ashamed silence, only watched Nik survey the room until he spotted the hamper. The shirt landed there, and Nik retrieved the old blue bathrobe on the hook near it.

That robe seemed like a sudden promise of calm, somehow, Nik bringing it to him with a careful expression, as though he was getting ready to open another hive. Merry yanked at his belt, dragged it free as Nik reached him and held the robe open, enfolding Merry in it, then stepping back. 

His trousers and underwear fell away mercifully easily, and he tied the robe closed with relief as he stepped out of the pile of wet cloth.

"Better," Nik said, as Merry sank back to sit on the edge of his bed, gripped with a shrinking embarrassment.

"Indeed," he managed. "Thank you for--I mean, I--" he cleared his throat, then fell silent. Nik took a step back towards him. That was alright. Nik offered his hand. Merry took it, his own somewhat limp. Nik leaned down to kiss it, mouth landing soft and warm across Merry's cold knuckles.

Merry looked up at him, seeking and finding that bedrock of calm. Concern too, yes. But the worry hadn't eroded the rest. He firmed his grip, took a long breath, and Nik steadied him as he stood up. 

Nik leaning in slowly for a light press of warm lips to his, and both hands clasped over Merry's. "Join me for supper?" Nik asked when he pulled back.

Merry found himself laughing at the turnabout invitation that he'd been the one to always say until now. "I would love to." He replied, and saw some tension ease from Nik's face.

"Meet you there," Nik said, and left the room. Merry took a breath, and another, steadier now, until he was able to pull himself together to dry off properly and get dressed.

Merry had little in the way of casual clothing, but he found a plain shirt, an old woolen sweater in faded navy blue, and a pair of dark jean trousers in lieu of another suit. He pulled a comb through his hair, and looked at himself in the mirror over his dresser, the lamp light outlining his drying curls and the little ram's horns his mother's family line had given him.

Warmth and dryness went a tremendously long way towards evening his keel, and he took a few minutes to retrace and dry the trail of water drops to the side entrance, and then he went to the kitchen. He found Nik sitting and leafing through the most recent gardener's almanac. It was Merry's latest reading material to occupy his meals in Kaya's absence. Nik looked up as he entered, gaze traveling down and up, taking in the new clothes. He smiled a little and Merry felt the back of his neck warm pleasantly, as it always did when Nik was that blatant in his appreciation. 

This felt just right again. "It won't be long," Merry said, and proceeded with supper as he had originally planned--stew, cheese, fresh bread and spiced apples. It certainly suited the weather. The mansion shook around them occasionally with the storm's wind, and rain came in blustery waves against the windows, but the reminder of the chill stayed at a comfortable distance now. The lights flickered, making them both look up, but they stayed lit for the half hour it took for the spiced apples to bake, all the way through Merry preparing their plates and opening the bottles of mead that Nik had brought last time--one honey product that Nik made only in very small batches to give away as he pleased.

Finally he turned the kitchen lights off himself and lit the candle that had become their habitual supper lighting. The blue ones had run out and been replaced some time ago; the one Merry used this time was an amber yellow, not far off in colour from Nik's mead.

The food and drink made a warm, filling barrier against the cold sounds of the storm outside. As always, Merry soon found himself prompted into telling Nikolei all the minor things that the man appeared to have become used to hearing about. How the repairs on the mansion's cellar were going. What Kaya's next step was in her studies. How Onion, Pepper and Carrot had most recently driven him up the wall. How Merry's most recent blueprint submission to the local shipwrights' guild had gone over. Nikolei usually spent fewer than two or three combined days on any one island in a given month, yet he followed this local news account with what Merry had come to realize was a real avid interest.

For his part, Merry had slowly gleaned that Nik had a rented patch of farmland outside Kombu village, two islands east, but aside from a few midwinter months, was there barely more than he was on Syrup or any other of his stops in the island group. Nik had comments on inn quality, or ferry ticketing price hikes, but nothing much to say about Kombu itself, except that the rent was reasonable.

Merry was recounting the local council's laughably agonized decision to extend the main pier at the dock when the lights flickered again, and this time went out. The candle on the table meant that the kitchen felt much the same, but grey dusk had fallen outside and rest of the mansion was plunged into shadow.

He trailed off and the both of them waited in silence a few seconds, with no change. "I suppose it's properly out," Merry said. 

Nik looked out the window at the continuing deluge. No more lightning or thunder, but great gusts of wind and rain were still audible against the mansion. "Ferry'll be stopped," he noted quietly.

"Well," Merry said, regarding the darkening clouds. He looked at Nik, comfortable with with the warm, if somewhat daunted, anticipation he could feel pushing at him. If he was nervous, he was not worried. The feel of Nik wrapping him in the bathrobe was still close around him. "I would hardly expect you to leave in this weather."

"Yeah?" Nik said slowly. "Y'want me to stay?" Nik asked, the question more blunt than anything Nik had ever said about their association so far--the man took the art of the unspoken to new heights and Merry had grown familiar with the faint changes that indicated Nik's emotions. The way his face turned almost neutral now, as if to give Merry better space to refuse, had become unfamiliar. It had been a long time since Nik had felt any need to look at him that way.

"Yes I do. Very much," Merry replied simply. The stiffness left Nik's features, giving way to warmth, and Merry far preferred that.

Then Nik glanced down at their empty plates. "Let's clean." He said. He had undertaken to help after meals since his second visit, stating it was only fair. This outage was a better excuse than most to put off the major washing for a time, with no hot water to be had, but Nik still rinsed everything while Merry packed away the remainder of the food. 

On the way from the kitchen, Merry made a circuit of the few rooms that had been lit to set the switches so that the the lights would not still be on when the outage ended. The candle in the holder was down to half size, but would last long enough for their purposes, he thought. And unlike some months ago, he had plenty on hand.

They reached the foot of the stairs and started up, and in the continuing spirit of clarity, Merry took a breath, closed his mouth with a spasm of embarrassment, then after a few more false starts, succeeded in saying, "I feel you should know, it's been--quite some time, for me." Merry grimaced. "As you may have gleaned."

Merry felt Nik's hand land on the small of his back, a faint press to prompt him onwards. "We can do--whatever. Just... wanna stay with you," Nik's voice grew uncharacteristically thick, and Merry swallowed around a sudden knot as he wondered just when Nik had last even slept in his own bed. 

Each time Nik left, the melancholy had been stronger. After the first few times, when it had all been somewhat fragile and giddy around the edges that this was happening at all, the little threads of connection they'd established had twined and braided into something sturdier and stronger, that pulled at him the entire time Nik was elsewhere. 

And he had not ever imagined that Nik was so affected… the man was so used to coming and going, hopping to the next farm or island where his work was. Certainly Merry felt that Nik's fondness for him was real, but surely Nik had put that aside the rest of the time.

He turned on the step, halfway up, the candle throwing its small light over Nik's slightly startled face. "I--" Merry started, but the emotion overwhelmed and he simply held the candle safely aside, dropped one foot back to the lower step and leaned in to kiss Nik, his free hand landing fingertips on his chin before sliding back over his neck, into the tied up hair at his nape. 

A kiss after the meal--it had always been goodbye. Only at parting. Well, this time it wasn't that. 

Nik made a noise in his throat, and then his hands went to Merry's waist, fingers clenching in the old wool sweater, then sliding under, between sweater and shirt, holding Merry's hips, warm through the fabric. The feeling of hands gripping so intently sent a surge of heat through Merry so startlingly strong that he broke the kiss with a gusty exhalation. Really it had been… some time.

"By all means, do more than simply stay." Please. Oh, please.

Nik's eyes studied him, eyes wide and bright. "Up," he urged, and Merry had to agree.

Nik's prompting carried them only as far as the top of the stairs, though, before he caught lightly at Merry's arm. "Merry. Just--" he said. Merry paused, let Nik's grip turn him. Then a warm hand returned to his waist, under the sweater, then slid around his back, the other joining Merry's on the candlestick, helping to hold it clear as Nik pressed them together, his face lowering against Merry's neck. He sighed, deeply, his arm around Merry hugging him near, and Merry embraced him back, holding onto a fistful of worn sweatshirt cotton. Nik gave a sort of rumble, short of a growl, but his contentment was emphatic in the sound and the grip, and Merry was awash in something strong and sweet, his face warm, his heart--

"Nik," he said, weakly, smiling so broadly it hurt.

After long seconds of the grandest hug--even one-armed--that Merry had ever felt, Nik eased up and gently crowded him against the wall instead, leaning in for a slow kiss while the hand on Merry's back pulled their hips lightly together, desire clear. Merry concurred entirely.

"I'd just as soon do this with both hands," Merry murmured against his mouth when the kiss broke.

"Yeah," Nik agreed on the heels of a sigh. Merry pulled away with some reluctance, and led him back to-- _back_ to his room, where they'd so recently been.

He wasn't cold this time, nor sodden and self conscious. The small bright flicker of the candle lit both more and less of the room than the dim daylight through the downpour had earlier. Edges of light and shadow made outlines and contrasts now. Merry set the candle holder on the dresser, while Nik trailed near, standing far back enough to not be in the way, but waiting only for the candle to be down before gathering Merry up again, hands under the sweater and now Merry could feel him exploring through his shirt, tracing up his back, thumb finding the lower edge of his ribs.

And Merry did the same, pushing under the worn old cloth of Nik's sweatshirt to find thin cotton underneath that seemed hardly a barrier to the warmth radiating from his skin. Nik's flanks had a soft layer of give over a solid core, and Merry spread his hands from there over his back, finding the dip of his spine where it began at the waist of his trousers, and slid up the length, up to between his shoulderblades and back down. As Nik's mouth kissed warmly down his neck, Merry's fingers curled around Nik's belt and held on, anchoring to keep them flush together. He could feel Nik hardening against him, and the thrill of that was as joyful as it was arousing. 

"Want to--I want--" Nik hitched the words halfway out, and pulled at Merry, towards the bed, turning so that he backed up until the bed hit the back of his knees. He sat, hands keeping Merry standing before him. _Oh._

He wrapped his arms around Merry's hips, held on tightly again, rather like in the hall, though this time the warmth of his breath could be felt through the cloth over Merry's belly, soft heat spreading in. 

Merry smoothed over Nik's hair, ran unsteady fingers over it, through the soft, unbound strands at the back of his neck. He stroked behind Nik's ears and along his jaw, his own breathing coming heavier, faster with the anticipation. Nik's arms fell away from Merry's waist, his fingers arriving at Merry's belt buckle. It came undone with a few quick motions, then Nik slid the belt free and undid the button and zipper, and now Merry could feel the heat of his breath against his bare stomach. He held his breath, his hands stilling for a second before settling again with a delicate, waiting touch.

Nik's arm encircled his hips, braced solid and his hand spread over Merry's lower belly, followed by his mouth, breathing in where the hairs on Merry's belly thickened into a trail of wooly curls leading downward. Merry swallowed, his head feeling airy and light as every little touch seemed amplified.

Nik carefully tugged Merry's trousers open and down just enough to slide his big hand in and curl around Merry's half-hard cock. Whether it was age or lack of regular sex, Merry was no longer terribly quick to harden, but that had little bearing on his pleasure. Nik's fingers curling around him felt exquisite, and the little sigh Nik gave as he rubbed his cheek up the length before covering the tip with his mouth--"Ah," Merry breathed. He dropped his hands to Nik's shoulders and held on. It was as though his vision had gone as shadowed as the room, all his focus following his blood and rushing to his core, urgently chasing the motion of Nik's fingers and the wet slide of his mouth.

He was barely sure of the time passing, until Nik pulled off, and Merry blinked his eyes back to functioning vision. He imagined his face must be flushed scarlet--or would be if it wasn't so dark--as he looked down at Nik's hooded eyes, and his hand still slowly stroking, thumb sliding gently over the tip. 

"Much more of that and I'll... be no good to you for… quite some time," Merry said, between breaths. He didn't think he'd have been able to interrupt it himself. His very skin felt hungry now, he wanted to touch, wanted to be touched. He caressed Nik's cheek, his neck, bent low and pushed, and Nik's hand slid from his cock as he tipped back on the bed. A pity, but Merry wanted more before this was over. He followed Nik down, his hands sliding down to push under two layers to find Nik's bare stomach, upward to his chest, down and up again, just feeling the warm solid bulk under his palms. 

He was not the only one. Nik's hands pulled at his sweater--it came promptly off--then went as before to the buttons of Merry's shirt, until it fell open. Merry worked at Nik's belt, his hands somewhat less deft at the moment than they would otherwise be, until he too could slide his hands into the open fly and caress the damp and silky weight of Nik's cock. The thickness was altogether pleasing, Merry relished how it filled his hand, and Nik heaved a sigh of pleasure. 

Then he wrapped an arm around Merry and rolled them sideways so that Merry was on his back and Nik had a foot on the floor and one knee on the bed. Merry pulled at his sweatshirt, so he straightened up, grabbed the bottom of and stripped it off. His shirt went with it, and both garments vanished past the side of the bed, uncovering his broad chest dusted with hair, and the softer waist and belly. Nik hooked a thumb into Merry's undone trousers, paused for a moment, until Merry pushed at the other side. They slid away, and the air felt distantly cool against his skin.

Merry grabbed at Nik's belt again, more urging than help, but he didn't particularly care as long as the clothes were removed and he could have all Nik's body where he could touch it.

Divested of his trousers at last, Nik settled over him, straddling his thighs, cock hard and eager. His eyes lowered to Merry's chest. A frown flickered, and he reached one hand to twitch the sides of the unbuttoned shirt closed again.

Merry felt a brief internal cringe of discomfort at the reminder, but now it was not something that overwhelmed. He snagged at the shirt hem with one hand, tugged until one side of the shirt fell to the side. "It's alright," he told Nik. 

It was true, mostly. His reaction had not snuck up on him as before. Nik had seen already, and for all of Merry's distaste on his own part, Nik had displayed only worry. His concern did not seem to be for the scars, but for Merry, and Merry just wanted that concern to remain on their mutual enjoyment, for the moment. 

"Just don't… linger," he said, as Nik hesitated. Then Nik answered him by brushing aside the other side of the shirt, exposing it all, as he also ducked down for a kiss, his hand flattening and roaming over Merry's chest. All over, not anywhere in particular, not only over the numb places or the raised, imperfectly-healed spots, but but also rubbing over a nipple, following the bumps of Merry's ribs, smoothing over his stomach. Warm hand over his body, only that. 

Yes, that was alright. Merry closed his eyes and tried not to let his relief be too apparent. Nik seemed to have sensed it regardless, as his hand rose again to cup Merry's jaw, stroke a thumb over his cheek while his mouth move slow and soft. Merry squirmed quietly out of the shirt at last.

And then Nik's hand returned lower, cupping and then holding Merry's cock, shifting his own knees forward enough to rub them both together in a delightful bit of friction, but his hand paid particular attention to Merry, which Merry selfishly indulged, arching up into the steady grip. Nik mouthed at his jaw, below his ear. 

"Can I ride you?" Nik asked softly. The strokes of his hand became slow, meaningful caresses, and Merry took in a long breath driven by the enthusiastic arousal that rolled through him at the question.

"You want--? Yes... yes… There, beside--" Nikolei nodded, leaned away and opened the drawer that Merry had waved his hand at. The small jar was new. Merry hadn't quite been willing to anticipate _when_ , but...

Nik straightened up, jar in hand. He coated his fingers, and the lubricant was glossy and wet in the candlelight. He reached an arm back, and began to prepare himself, the shadows shifting as he arched. His eyes were half-lidded glints of concentration, until Merry gave in to the temptation so close at hand, and reached out for his cock. Nik's eyes fell shut with a soft grunt of pleasure as Merry stroked, slow and soothing, of a mind to ease things along. One hand curled firmly and the other he let explore lower, filling his palm with the fragile weight of Nik's sac, so he could squeeze and stroke at once.

One moment to the next, he passed some threshold, for Nik made a deep, hungry sound and shuddered, then descended on him, sliding his hand free and bracing his elbow to catch the rest of his weight as he dropped most of it onto Merry, pressing him into the bed and thrusting into the grip, panting and urgent, and Merry couldn't embrace him, with his hands full, but he dearly wanted to, wanted to give Nik the same warm weight in return. He leaned his cheek against the side of Nik's head as Nik surged against him, thrust into his hands, hip grinding wonderfully over Merry's erection. He listened to the raggedness in his breathing, wondered faintly guiltily if he'd lost himself and would come from this. 

But Nik caught hold of some edge of control, made a plaintive noise as he stilled, and pushed himself up, head hanging down. He raised it to regard Merry, made a tsking sound and shook his head with a little smile in the corner of his mouth.

"Apologies," Merry said, biting down on his own smile and trying to look contrite.

"Nah," Nik said roughly, nuzzling down at Merry's neck again to move a few more times, slowly and deliberately into his hands, before stopping with a not unhappy sigh, and pushing himself to kneel up.. 

"Here," Merry said. He shifted backward on the bed, up towards the pillows. "Come on." Nik followed Merry up the bed, helping to drag the covers away. Nik gathered the pillows for Merry to lie against. Merry settled himself, leaning back, and then Nik was over him again, spilling more of the gel into his hand, this time surrounding Merry's cock in the rapidly warming wet slide of his palm. Merry flattened his hands around Nik's thighs, smoothing up and down, and just watched, avid, as Nik knelt up, shifted a little nearer, then reached back to find the tip of Merry's cock with his fingers before lowering himself back onto it.

"Ah. Yes," Merry breathed. The contact was slippery first and then a slow push, fingers still steadying until it wasn't only pushing but opening Nik, slowly slowly--so tight--until he was in, and he held tightly onto the desire to move, as Nik gave a shaky, satisfied sigh. 

Merry kneaded at Nik's tense thighs, partially a distraction for himself, partially encouragement. Nik took a long breath and on the exhale sank a little lower, and repeated that, the gradual progress making Merry bite his lip and hold his own breath, until it seemed simpler to match his breathing to Nik's and rub his thighs in time, something to concentrate on, while they did this together.

Merry studied his face, and even in the candlelight and shadow he could read the determination on his brow, and he might have worried he was causing pain, if not for the slack flashes of pleasure that Nik's expression relaxed into.

Then he started to move--didn't wait--just as soon as Merry could feel he was all the way down, raising himself slowly up and back and Merry fisted his hands against the surging instinct--and tremendously strong desire--to thrust up to meet him. A few moments more to find the reins, and he undertook to distract himself by touching what he could reach of Nik, up his warm, sweat-damp thighs and belly, and then his cock again, full and hard.

Nik made a belly-deep groan of contentment as he moved and as Merry stroked and caressed him, the silky skin hot under his hands and the head generously slippery with precome. It was--it was marvelous, and Merry had accompanied him to that point. Nik had wanted to be here, with him, for this. 

Merry closed his eyes to the sensation, the motion, the slide of everything, himself into Nik's body, tight and smooth, and his hands full of Nik in turn. Oh, but, he could improve it. "Where--where is the--" and Nik groped to the side then pushed the jar at Merry. The lid wasn't on quite right, and came off abruptly, slopping more than necessary over Merry's hand, but really, there wasn't any such thing as too much. Merry coated Nik with a smooth motion and Nik stilled over him suddenly, clenched tight and grabbed his wrists to pull them off.

"No--not yet, I'll--" he choked off the words, and Merry felt a thick surge of lust to know he was so very close. 

Nik bent his head. Sighed, the sound a tremble at the end. Then he put a hand on Merry's shoulder, bracing himself, and moved again. Merry's breaths came quick as Nik's rocking pushes down against him grew rougher by degrees, and now Merry dared to meet them. Nik made an urging, eager sound when he did, and Merry tried to join his rhythm, bending his knees to brace his heels, until he felt his own building momentum begin to carry him along.

He opened his eyes--when had they closed?--in a minor effort to divide his senses, and pull back the headlong rush of arousal, but the sight of Nik had the opposite effect, and he only wanted more and closer; why was there such a gap? 

He struggled to sit, Nik's braced arm still pinning his shoulder. "Nik," Merry gasped, plaintive. He reached and Nik let up. 

He gathered Merry close instead, that arm going tight around his back so that Merry was held close and tight and hot and--he gripped Nik's shoulders and spent himself in a last few strokes of their combined motion, heedless of anything but the warmth all around.

Nik held him near until he managed to release his desperate grip, and eased him back to the pillows. Merry opened his eyes partway, and wondered vaguely how everything could be so shadowy. He felt aglow.

Then he heard a faint hiss of breath as he shifted and slid free of Nik, but before Merry could recover to begin to apologize for losing control, Nik dropped over him again, rutting heavily, slick and hard, against his belly. Merry drew a knee up to press against his hip, worked his hands between them again to hold him as before. Nik planted his hands on either side of the pile of pillows, found his mouth and kissed him, rough and quick. Then, with small desperate noise, ducked his head against Merry's shoulder and shoved an arm behind his back, pulling them tight together again. Merry felt the pulse of his cock as it was pressed between them, and the wet warmth bloom on his stomach.

Nik's breathing and Merry's slowed together, as gradually as they disentangled. Nik rolled of him and Merry followed, turning on his side to keep close. He managed to use his shirt to clumsily remove some of the mess, and then simply lay there as Nik's hand moved with idle lassitude over his body, fingers traveling down Merry's collarbone, over a nipple, along the raised line of one of the scars, down over his hip, then between his legs, caressing his thighs, giving a light stroke to his soft cock. Nik moved his fingers through the hair above it, and upward again over Merry's flank and up to his neck, sliding around the back to pull him into a kiss.

"How are you?" Merry asked quietly when they separated. 

"I'll feel it tomorrow," Nik said. His eyes were pleased. He sat up, stretched and shifted gingerly, then yawned hugely, but made to stand. "Gonna wash up," he said. "Bathroom?" 

"First door down the hall to your right," murmured Merry. "Let me--"

"Stay," Nik told him, pulling up the covers. Merry was easily convinced, and lay there drowsing. Sometime between Nik gathering his clothing and actually leaving the room, Merry fell asleep.

He roused somewhat to the feel of a warm cloth wiping him down, over his stomach and between his legs, cleaning away the faint itch of drying come and lubricant, and then the last thing he was aware of was the sensation of the mattress dipping down with the weight of another beside him.

*

He was shaken awake, gently. Candlelight still lit the room and the window was still dark. He had a moment of startled befuddlement before his eyes focused on the face before him, more of a silhouette than anything else.

"Nik…" he murmured scratchily. 

"Early ferry," Nik said, and his voice was thick again. "Didn't wanna just leave."

Merry's mind cleared as though he'd been doused in ice water. He sat up, the room's air cold on his bare chest--he never usually slept naked--and he stared at Nik with a chagrin he should have been wise enough to foresee. They hadn't planned last night, and of course Nik had to make the next ferry available after the storm. Nik looked, for the first time that Merry had ever seen, profoundly unhappy.

"No--of course. Of course." Merry moved. Nik reached out to stop him but he ignored it, swinging out of bed and dressing with all speed, yanking clean trousers on, pulling yesterday's sweater on with no shirt. He would see him to the door, at _least._

The outage was over, he discovered with the first switch he touched, in the hall outside his room.

There was no time for breakfast, not even tea or coffee, and Merry resolved to fix that next time. 

Next time. The next visit for the estate hive was three weeks out, that was certain. Merry couldn't recall now if there was anything bringing Nik back before that. "I'll see you--"

"Next week, market day," Nik interrupted, and Merry felt the clench in his chest ease somewhat. Nik stepped into his boots, shrugged into his coat. "Can stay the night then," he said, then, somehow, suddenly unsure, his gaze dropped down to where his hands were doing up his coat, "if you wa--."

" _Yes_." Merry's instant, emphatic reply banished the uncertainty into a flicker of fond relief. Nik gave a little laugh, and scratched with endearing self-consciousness at his jaw. The humour faded as Nik watched Merry open the door. He picked up his kit, leaned near, pressed his forehead to Merry's before kissing him. It was hungry in an entirely different way than last night, and Merry felt his own longing come to the surface in answer. 

Nik broke the kiss first, ending it with a sigh. "Bye," he said roughly, as Merry forced his hands to release their fisted grip on his coat. 

He smoothed the cloth down with a wordless chiding mutter at himself, smoothed it again, uselessly, and pulled himself back. Nik's eyes had gone deeply fond when Merry met them again, and it drew a smile from Merry despite his unhappiness. Nik's own subtle smile spread a little further as well. "Thanks," he added, as always.

Merry would miss Nik terribly. More than ever. But wasn't it simply lovely to have someone to miss in this way? 

"Goodbye," Merry replied, his hands trapping each other behind his back to keep from interfering further with Nik's outerwear.

He watched Nik head down the path in the dark. Pre-dawn was touching the eastern sky but little else yet, and Merry felt tight in his chest, like a fist around his insides. 

He closed the door, and leaned back against it, facing the inside of the mansion again with a sigh. Even with some of the lights on now, was more empty than it had been last night, in the dark with only a candle to light their way.

With a mild curse of realization, Merry straightened up and rushed back to his room. Ridiculous to leave an unattended flame there, low as the risk was.

And of course, nothing had caught on fire in his absence. Instead, the rumpled bed met his eyes, the discarded clothing and open wardrobe from his rush to dress. All of it tipped sense memories of the night before onto him in a rush of almost disbelieving exhilaration. He leaned on the doorframe, swept away in recollection. A giddy joy came over him and he laughed a little, fingertips pressing over his lips in a pointless reflex to stay mannerly and calm.

With a sigh of mingled contentment and melancholy, he went to stand before the dresser, meaning to snuff the candle now that the lights would all be working again.

It wasn't the candle he'd expected. The yellow one in its holder from the kitchen had melted down to a stub. The one burning now, which Nik must have lit himself upon waking, was blue, the last of that colour for the moment, and in fact the very one Merry had left and forgotten for a few weeks in his jacket in spring. When he'd found it, after his and Nik's second meal together, he'd brought it to his room in a fit of optimistic sentimentality and put it in a candleholder on his dresser, alongside the model he'd made of the Going Merry, his antique sextant, and the picture of Miss Kaya's departed parents. Since then he had rather enjoyed seeing it there.

Now it was lit and Merry's first inclination was to put it out immediately, the better to preserve it.

He looked past it to the mirror that hung over the dresser, meeting his own eyes with a little quirk of his mouth at his fretting over a candle that Nik had dozens if not hundreds more of. 

A mark on his skin drew his eye, and he raised his fingertips to a red bruise low on his neck. It was visible above the low collar of the old sweater, though it wouldn't be behind a shirt collar.

He felt and saw himself flush pleasantly at the memory of Nik's mouth on him. He glanced down, his fingers dropping to his chest, suddenly wondering where else Nik might have left a trace of their first time together. 

He couldn't be sure he'd done likewise, and now he found he rather wished he had. Perhaps next time...

The steady little flame caught his eye again, and he watched it a moment, then backed up to sit on his bed. The room was brightening already, and dawn would break soon. 

Merry kept the candle lit until the sun came up.


End file.
